If you go by leading statistics, anyway.
With some studies showing the national divorce rate at an average above fifty percent, its a miracle if you even KNOW a happily married couple nevermind be a part of one!
The fact of the matter is that the odds ARE absolutely stacked against us. But I refuse to see my marriage as having such a bleak probability of success. We’re #TeamTilDeathDoUsPart over here.
But I have to be realistic. There is truth to those numbers. Of the nine years that my husband and I have been married, three out of six of our closest married friends have endured a divorce. Ambiguous stats are one thing, but a real life census is sobering.
Does that mean the rest of us are living in matrimonial paradise? *sucks teeth* Yeah, right! Yet for some reason nobody ever talks about how much work this love thing takes. Instead we all walk around leading these seemingly perfect lives where the husband is the perfect listener, and the wife can read her man’s mind, finances are never a problem and the sex is always banging. Problem is when you do hit a rough patch, the issues seem 10x worse because you feel isolated. You feel like nobody else on Earth would understand what you’re going through. Meanwhile, silently, everyone else has been there, done that.
So why don’t we talk about it? Sure, us wives may touch on some of the nuances of married life with our girlfriends over crudité and cocktails. And perhaps our husbands gripe about something that annoyed them to their buddy after a game of half court bball at the gym. But in general we’re all pretending.
And since nobody is talking about the hard parts of marriage then we for sure aren’t sharing any tips or advice on how to maneuver through the sticky times…and thats the real sucky part. I mean, imagine if we all talked about ways to divorce-proof our marriage with the same enthusiasm that we talk about NeNe Leak’s latest wig selection or Bruce Jenner’s transition.
There’s comfort in knowing that you aren’t the only couple that endures ebbs and flows in your marriage. Hopefully we can all learn to be more transparent in the name of happily ever after.