Actually…a DJ saved my life 9 years ago. It was nine years ago on an unassuming Groundhog’s Day when I went into labor with my second child. It was my due date and my husband had barely made it into work when I called him and said “I think it’s time”. Eight hours later, DJ was born. I was relieved…couldn’t believe it…I was elated.
Rewind 9 months though, and I was nervous, terrified and guarded. The doctor that confirmed my pregnancy was actually a fertility specialist. And my appointment that day was to check my baseline hormone levels, not to tinkle in a cup.
My husband and I were there that day because although we had our oldest daughter, we had suffered two pregnancy losses in a matter of 8 months.
The first loss, although heartbreaking, I remained unshaken. I mean, Google said as many as 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage…stuff happens.
But the second miscarriage…it shook me. It went from being a statistical chance to whats wrong with my body. My husband and I were in our first year of marriage and I cant seem to carry his babies to term. I cried.
I’d get up with my husband in the morning and we’d “get ready for the day”. But as soon as I’d see his car turn off the block I’d crawl back under the covers and Shrek would babysit our 2 year old. My husband wanted a ton of kids. I wanted a ton of kids. But just like that it was looking as if we’d be one and done. I cried.
Those nine months seemed extra long. Even after reaching the end of the first trimester and sharing our great news I was always a little nervous. When I would find myself becoming excited something in the back of my mind would always remind me that anything can still happen.
But right on time, after a textbook labor and delivery, my DJ was born. And it wasn’t until they layed this 8 pound, 4 ounce ball on my chest that I even realized the weight of worry that had been on my shoulders. I could finally breathe. I cried.
Even now there are times where I catch myself looking at him through squinted eyes and just watch him in awe. He’s a big reason why I don’t mind when things get a bit hectic. He reminds me that things could be different. I didn’t know he’d be here…but he is. He brought me back from a dark place and I don’t know what I would have done without him. I’m crying.
#HBD #Shrek #RainbowBaby #DoubleRainbowBaby #ItsFunnyBecauseHisFavoriteCandyIsSkittles #LoveHim #LoveMyHecticLife