I want it all!…Doesn’t everybody?

There has long since been chatter about whether or not women can have it all.

My opinion? In short…Why the F not?!

How is this even a question? I feel like the generations before us did us a huge disservice by offering this topic up for debate. Its as if women were being discouraged from pursuing more than one avenue in life at a time, without even realizing it. We were made to think that having it all was unattainable and a waste of time to even strive for. I don’t know about you, but since the beginning of time I feel like women were given two options, to either pursue and excel in her career or to become a Suzie Homemaker. Pick one. The end.

Why is that? Is it because historically men have been unable to master the two so how on earth could a little ol’ woman excel at both? But then again, I can’t say that I can even recall a man ever worrying about trying to “have it all” anyway. It doesn’t seem to be as much of “a thing” for them as it is for women.

Or maybe it’s because there’s no general consensus of what having it all even entails. It vaguely seemed to mean a woman who managed to climb the corporate ladder by day, cleaned house and raised 2.5 kids by night while providing both a hot meal and hot sex to her husband each and every evening. Not to mention she’s team mom, PTA president and choir director in her spare time. She vacations once a year and upgrades her car every other. Well with that as a standard, is there any wonder why having it all seems to be out of reach?! For starters, that’s not even what we all want. If you don’t know by now, subscribing to somebody else’s standard will get you in trouble every single time. Every.single.time.

The key to having it all is creating your own lane, defining your own standards and chasing down YOUR own goals with reckless abandon. Not some antiquated roles that society has assigned to us arbitrarily. If it’s not what sets your soul on fire then you’re not going to achieve it. Point blank, period. It’s going to be an epic fail every single time. Every.single.time.

Not only that, but in the process you’ll start to live a life that requires you to dim your spirit or become robotic. And aint nobody got time for that. We are all different. We’ve got different priorities, different purposes and different ideas of what “IT” means so why would we all strive for the same measure of success? Whose idea was that?! How could we ever feel fulfilled or feel like we “have it all” if we’re chasing after ideals that aren’t aligned with what we are personally passionate about?

Your it factor can (and should) be different from my it factor, and that’s ok. We need to abandon the idea that if we’re not doing what the next person is doing [ie; getting a promotion, going natural, starting a business, starting a family…] then we’re inadequate. Or if we don’t have what another person has [material possessions, a certain family structure, degrees…] then we’re inferior. The solution? …Lets customize IT based on self. That way we ALL will ‘have it all’!

Tips for having it all:

1. Identify what you are passionate about. What things/places/activities make your spirit smile? Make those a part of your “It List”.

2. Quantify your goals in life. Be specific. What does successful mean to you? Do not allow someone else’s definition of success to reign over your life. Comparison is the thief of joy.

3. Create a plan of action. How do you plan to achieve your goals? Remember they’re goals, not daydreams. You cant have “it” if you don’t go after “it”.

4. And finally, celebrate your milestones! If all you ever do is highlight your missteps then you’ll never feel like you’re winning at life. Life is about small victories. Things manifest in direct proportion to the amount of energy you devote to it. So don’t sweat the small stuff. You’ll find that your blessings far outweigh your burdens. Life is definitely about learning to celebrate amongst the chaos and not chasing perfection. #TheresJoyInTheJourney

So tell me, what sets your soul on fire? What does having it all mean to you?


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