It Takes A Village…

So now that we’ve established that “Having it All” is a legit possibility, lets talk about how we actively work toward that goal!

First and foremost… A team is essential!!
Rome wasn’t built in a day and it most certainly was not built by one weary individual running on little more than Starbucks and 3.75 hours of shut eye!
A huge misconception about having it all, is that one has to attain it all on their own! And that just isn’t true.

If your goals are lofty (and they should be) then there is no way that any one person can (or even should) attempt to go at it solo. If you try to to travel the road all by your lonesome you will most certainly face burnout. And well, that is just counterproductive.

But lets be real…we’ve all been there. Whether too stubborn, too selfish or simply to stupid to realize that we are mothers, not martyrs, we take the position of us against the world far too often.  I call this Super Woman syndrome. I mean, sure we take pride when Beyonce reminds us that we are “strong enough to bare the children, then get back to bidness”. And depending on your age it was either Chaka or Whitney that taught us that we were “Every Woman” But if excellence is the goal then part of the plan has GOT to be working smarter and not harder.

For whatever reason a lot of women feel like they have to prove that they can carry the load on their own. For a long time, for me anyway, it wasn’t so much that I wanted to prove anything to anyone, per se. But because of my family size when it came to things like carpooling or babysitting I never wanted to feel like my kids were somebody else’s burden (Truth be told, I still struggle with this sometimes). I never wanted anybody to think that my husband and I couldn’t handle raising our own kids. So not only would I not ask for help but I would decline help when it was offered (What was wrong with me?!)

But then I started realizing that even families with only one or two kids were relying on grandparents and neighbors for help daily. Yet here I was with an S on my chest…but I was tired, cranky and short with my family…and at the end of the day I wasn’t even getting “Everything” done! I was tired of being mean mommy. So I got my self together real quick. I realized that I would get a lot more accomplished without depleting ALL of my energy and patience if I enlisted the help of others. It makes me a far better wife and it leaves me with a lot more energy and patience for my kids. Win, win. It also helps my to not feel overwhelmed and scatter brained. Win squared.

Now when I say team do I mean a chef, chauffeur and personal assistant? Not necessarily. It’s like the old proverb says, “It takes a village to grind effectively! (that’s the saying, right?) So things like splitting dinner duties with your spouse is team building. Delegating chores to your children is team building. Forming a babysitting co-op with your friends who also have kids is team building! Whatever it is that helps achieve the ultimate goal of greatness that you have for your family yet keeps you sane so that your family actually wants to be around you is how you build your team!

And if you are in the position to hire professionals to expand your team even further then by all means compare the cost to the benefit and do what ya gotta do. If securing a maid service to clean up once or twice a week gives you the time and energy to create a bedtime routine that you can enjoy with your kids each night, then its worth it! If finding yourself a personal trainer who can tell you exactly what you need to do to attain your fitness goals as opposed to month (…or years) of trial and error, then its worth it!!

Its okay. You don’t get extra kudos for running your self into the ground.

Give yourself permission to accept help. It’s not a luxury, its a necessity.

So who is on your team? Are you good at delegating?

#ItTakesAVillage #TeamBuilding #Greatness

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